Blood ties

About a strange thing and even more confusion…

“Companies that manage to convey their family values authentically and consistently can connect with customers and suppliers like no other,” reads a scientific study by the Erasmus Center For Family Business (ECFB), BDO and Rabobank (February 2017).
The downside is that if you Google further, quite a few problems arise when it comes to succession within a family business. Two-thirds of family businesses do not survive after succession! Problems? In a family business? How?

Okay, okay, I understand the cold financial consequences of succession. That's the business aspect.
But in my profession I also have to deal with a lot of bickering that plays a greater role in difficult business decisions, especially in family businesses. Business vs. emotion, it should be balanced, but hey, it's your family!
Family, you didn't choose them, family is just there. Also in family businesses. And their values ​​provide a clearer identity, more trust and stronger loyalty among customers and staff. That is why it makes sense for family businesses to reflect their family values ​​in their policy and communication. After all, this contributes to the continuity of the family business.
Family businesses often have an advantage, the values ​​are almost automatically anchored in the corporate culture. Naturally, because of the common factor called family, or rather 'blood bond'...

'Blood ties' is a strange thing. It creates stronger connections and more loyalty and that is wonderful, but it also means that abused 'removed' children still want to see their parents. There is even a protocol for that!? I find it extremely fascinating, blood ties, everyone knows it but no one can put it into words... it's just there.
Back to the family business. It sometimes happens that within family businesses where I am invited there is a family member who does not go along with the family values ​​and therefore threatens the continuity of the company to a greater or lesser extent. Let me just emphasize that this threat goes further than just the family, it also feeds other families.
I think knowing that, the family birthdays weren't that fun, there were people struggling with their loyalty and their business responsibility, again, more people are dependent from that company! And it is a credit to you to feel responsible for that…and making a decision about this can take a long time because of the impact it has. People see it, feel it, but refuse to do anything about it.
Anyone who ever dares to say that doing business is also purely business will have to deal with me. Business and emotional involvement are intertwined. You also give a lot of yourself in business, especially in a family business.
It sometimes happens that I can help unravel such a dilemma and ultimately the family business chooses future and continuity over loyalty to a family member. Pure drama, because especially in a family business this decision directly affects your entire private environment. It goes directly against that strange 'blood bond'. Respect for that courage, they all take this tragedy home with them...

So far, not much going on, you would think, reason won over loyalty, businesslike over the emotional. Wrong! We are dealing with that strange thing 'blood ties'. If you remove the causes of the problems, the objections that led to this decision apparently disappear immediately. Especially with family, he or she also had his or her good sides, right? Actually, it's kind of like couples who break up and then actually want to try again... And yet, afterwards people are happy and relieved with the decision, but only now do they realize what the real impact has been.
Making this rational business decision was deliberate and I noticed that it went quite 'over the edge' emotionally. That the 'blood ties' threatened to become a bloodbath. That I have to walk on eggshells because 'blood ties' gives someone the power to emotionally exploit the trust between family members. Or should I say that someone does not have the competence to keep the emotional out of business? And so exercising power is the only remaining option?
And of course I wonder if you can prevent this. And I think I know the answer. As I wrote earlier, everyone knows that strange 'blood ties', but no one can say what exactly it is.

And precisely because it is so natural and unconsciously present, it can never be clear in advance what it will do to you afterwards. Business versus emotion, especially a difficult thing here, but probably not insurmountable if you realise that blood ties work both ways. And that loyalty can ultimately transcend reason. But in this case only on birthdays…

Yvonne