Connection, safety, trust and progress….

Connection, safety, trust and progress….

Lately I realised that my work at The Headroom and my role as a member of a Supervisory Board are actually far less far apart than you might think at first glance.

Many people know me from The Headroom. From resolving friction within teams, because let's just call it what it is 😉. From coaching and developing women, leadership programmes, perception scans and team development. On paper, quite different types of work. But when I look at it, there is actually one clear common thread running through everything I do: creating connection, safety and trust to make real movement possible.

Because whether I'm working with one person, with a team, with leaders, or looking at an organisation from my role as a supervisory board member, it always starts with the same question: what is really going on here? Not just: what do we see on the surface? But especially: what lies beneath it? Why does a manager say they want ownership, yet keep taking things back over in the meantime? Why does a team say it communicates openly with each other, while everyone knows perfectly well which topics simply never make it to the table? Why do we sometimes know rationally, damn well, which step is needed, yet our own beliefs, assumptions and those stubborn voices in our head stop us from actually taking it? And why can organisations say they want to change, while at the same time, often without realising it themselves, holding firmly onto how things have always been done? That is where the real work begins for me. Not with yet another model, another plan or another training. But with people who feel safe enough to honestly say what they see, think and experience. Because without connection, there is no real safety. And without safety, trust barely gets the chance to grow. And it is precisely that trust that is needed to get further than the socially acceptable answer. At the same time, safety absolutely does not mean, to me, that things have to stay comfortable. Quite the opposite. It is precisely when there is enough safety, connection and trust that you can have the conversation that may not have been had for far too long. Then it's allowed to sting. Then someone is allowed to say something that lands. Then you can receive feedback without immediately explaining it away, playing it down or bouncing it back. And then you can examine what part you yourself play in a situation or pattern that, at the same time, is really bothering you.

To me, safety is not the absence of tension. It is knowing that tension is allowed to be there, without the connection disappearing. And trust, in turn, is not created by telling each other it is there. It is created by experiencing that you can speak up. That you are truly listened to. That a difference in perspective is allowed. And that saying something uncomfortable does not mean the relationship is immediately put under pressure. That is exactly where room for movement is created. I recognise that same common thread in my role as a member of a Supervisory Board. My position there is of course different. I am not a coach there. But one of the tasks of a supervisory board member, to me, is to look at whether an organisation is not only functioning well today, but is also able to move along with what will be asked of it tomorrow. And for that, it is not enough to look only at figures, strategy, plans and results. You also want to know what is really happening inside an organisation. Is there enough safety for people to speak up, especially when their message is uncomfortable? Is there connection between people, between different layers of the organisation, and with the world outside? Is there enough trust to also share the things you're not sure how they will be received?

Are different voices actually heard? Or do we mostly hear what we would like to hear? And does an organisation dare to honestly ask itself: who are we, what do we stand for, and does the way we have always done things still fit the world of today and tomorrow? Because if people don't feel safe, or don't experience enough trust to speak up, you only get part of the story. And as a supervisory board member, I find that exactly the essential question: Do we have enough insight into what is really going on to be able to exercise proper oversight? That, too, sometimes requires looking further than what's on paper. Staying curious about what causes friction. Daring to ask questions that may not immediately have a comfortable answer. Wanting to hear different perspectives. And examining whether an organisation is still doing what it says it wants to do. Not to take the director's seat. But to stay sharp and involved from your own responsibility. And that is where those two worlds come very close together for me again. Because whether I'm coaching, guiding a team, working with leaders, or sitting at a supervisory board table: I want to know what is really going on. I want to contribute to an environment where people genuinely dare to say it. And then honestly look at what our thinking does to our behaviour, and what result we, sometimes completely unintentionally, keep in place ourselves. Not to analyse endlessly. But to be able to move. Perhaps that is, in the end, my common thread:

Connection makes safety possible. Safety creates room for trust to grow. Trust makes it possible to be truly honest, even when it stings. Honesty makes movement possible. And movement is needed for progress. Whether it concerns one person, a team, leadership, or an entire organisation.

And fortunately, for me, that also includes perspective and humour. Because safety, connection and trust, as far as I'm concerned, are not created by all of us sitting down together and taking it very seriously. 😉

And on we go….

Best, Yvonne